gay culture is never having a New Years kiss
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two years ago on new year’s eve I went out to a gay bar for the first time with a group of men and about 30 minutes before midnight I had to pee and the line was So Long and I got out of the bathroom literally during the 10 second countdown and I was just shouting the countdown as I wove my way through the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd, a little tipsy, looking for my friends, and I found them at the 5-count and my friend grabbed me and said “FOLLOW ME” and in the last 5 seconds before midnight he desperately shoved me into a girl he’d apparently met while I was in the bathroom who said she had no one to kiss and he yelled at us both “SHE’S A LESBIAN” and she kissed me. I’m not sure what my point is here but maybe just go out with a group of gay men who talk to strangers.
SIGHHHHHH
“The forest will answer you in the way you call to it.”
— Finnish proverb (via dehanginggarden)
a blog: *follows me*
me, an aged monarch lounging on my fur-strewn throne, gesturing for my servant to bring me my monacle: Bring them here! Bring them here, I say. Let me look at them.
guards: *drag the unwitting blog before me*
me, peering intently at the new blog and poking them with my scepter: Is this a real person? Hmm? What have you to say for yourself? What are your fandoms? Your interests? Speak up, these old ears aren’t what they used to be.
guards, tentatively: they do seem to be a real person, sire. We found them in possession of several memes and a fandom rant.
me, subsiding back into my sumptuous furs and waving them away: most extraordinary. It has been an age since there was a real person, but just as well, the dungeons have been overflowing with those tacky pornbots. This newcomer may remain in my domain. Make them welcome. And fetch me a quill! I feel a ficlet coming on…
this is the funniest thing i have ever read
But where is the lie?
swarnpert
